I have just finished reading Carl Rogers on becoming a person. For me the articles that struck home were his personal thoughts on teaching and learning.
The core conditions he picks out just feel right. Simple enough to remember and the reasoning makes sense. They also feel like a physical core. If you take the words, practices and techniques away from all the other helpful systems – its pretty much what remains.
There has to be a genuine problem that someone wants to solve. I know myself that if deep down I don’t care no matter how sensible the argument for change more urgent things will undermine my best intentions.
Being honest with one’s self and others congruence, integrity whatever you want to call it. On the idea of matching actions and feelings Rodgers is spot on. I know I need to be able to trust myself , and for others to be able to trust me. Trust is far easier when what you say and what you feel are in sync. I also know that for me this is an area that needs work. I worry a lot about how people will react to what I say. This makes it tough to be honest and open all the time.
A lot of it comes back to maintaining positive regard. I find it far easier to see the best in others than I do in myself. It is a form of dishonesty that I need to tackle. At some other time I need to look at why if I trust others I don’t trust their reactions to me
My time is up empathy and practice vs systems will have to wait for another day